Thank you for taking the time to interview with me today, Ms. Jynx. I just wanted you to know that I sincerely appreciate your time and I wish you nothing but success in the future… unfortunately I’m just not sure that you’d be a good fit for this position.
Why the Hell not?
Uhm… well… for one thing, your resume appears to have been written in crayon...
Actually that’s lipstick.
And it says here that you haven’t been able to hold down a job for more than… three weeks?
Those jobs sucked.
And you have absolutely no experience working in a library…
If a dumb bitch like you can do it, how fucking hard can it be?
Uhm… and your attitude is, well… “atrocious” might be one way to say it.
You could also say that I don’t give a fuck.
Yes… well… you can see my problem. I’m afraid you just aren’t quite the kind of applicant that I am looking for to fill this particular position.
You said you were looking for a Library Assistant, right?
Yes.
So all I gotta do is assist you, right?
Uhm, yes… but I’m not exactly sure what kind of assistance you might be able to provide. Librarianship is a very specific discipline that requires…
Well… I could start by assisting you with picking up this pen that you dropped under your desk.
I did? Well, thank you, but that won’t be necessary…
It’s ok, let me just crawl down here and get it for you.
No really, it’s alright. I can… uhm… what are you doing?
Nice panties.
Ms. Jynx, if you would please…
Lacey and red... Gotta hot date, Ms. Kent?
Uhm, no… young lady, if you’d please…
Here’s what I think… I think when I turned in my resume, you looked me up online...
Well, yes, that’s fairly standard, but…
And you saw a couple of pictures of me… and you liked what you saw...
Well, I must admit, you are rather…
And so I’m thinking to myself… why would you be wearing these lacey red panties unless you wanted me to see them?
That’s not… Ms. Jynx… what… what are you... doing to my… ohhh…
MMMmmmm… Do you like that?
Oh, yessss… ohhhh, that’s… I… I mean…
Now do you understand the qualifications that I bring to this position, Ms. Kent?
Ohmygod… your tongue is so… soooo... oh… oh god… I think… I think I’m gonna…
Would you like me to contact the other applicants and let them know that the position has been filled?
YES!!! OHH!!! OH FUCK YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!
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