"I’m sorry, miss… but the book you are looking for appears to be checked out at the moment.
"What?!?! That’s bullshit! I called earlier and you told me that you’d be keeping it on reserve for me?
"I did? What was your name again?
"Sarah… Sarah Brigade…
"Hmmm… no… I’m not seeing anything on reserve under that name... Do you know who you spoke with when you called in to reserve your book?
"Kent… She said her name was Kent.
"Oh… well, that’s me... but I don’t remember taking any reservation calls today.
"It wasn’t today, you dumb bitch.
"I see… uhm, when did you call and have the book reserved?
"At the start of the semester… about four months ago…
"Four MONTHS? …I’m sorry, Sarah, but we don’t reserve books for more than two weeks."
"What?!?! That’s a bunch of crap!!"
"I’m really very sorry, but after two weeks all reserved books go back into circulation. It’s our policy to…"
"FUCK YOUR POLICY!!! I need that book to complete my final research paper!!!"
"Well, I completely understand… I can try to order it from another library…"
"How long would that take?"
"No more than two to three days…"
"FUCK! …I have to turn in my paper in 45 minutes!"
"Oh… uhm, well… I’m afraid there’s no way for me to acquire that book in such a short amount of time."
"Short amount of time?!?!? I called ahead four months ago!!!! How much more fucking time do you need?!?!?"
"Young lady, please keep your voice down. You’re disturbing the other patrons…"
"FUCK the other patrons! ...And fuck you! This library sucks!"
"Now listen, Ms. Brigade… I understand that you’re upset, but it’s not the library’s fault that another patron has checked out the book that you need. Now… if you’d like, I can help you to locate another resource and…"
"I didn’t say it was “the library’s fault”… It’s YOUR fault!"
"I beg your pardon?"
"You heard me! You’re the one that was supposed to be holding the book for me! I want to talk to your supervisor!"
"Ms. Brigade… I am the supervisor in charge during this shift… and it is most certainly not my fault that you waited until the last possible minute to complete your research paper... Now… if you please lower your voice I will help you to…"
"You’re going to get the book that I need RIGHT NOW… or I’m going to knock you on your prissy little ass!"
"Ms. Brigade… I am only trying to help..."
"And don’t think for one second that I won’t do it! Have you ever heard of Underground Sex Wrestling? I’m a fucking three time USW champion!"
"Ms. Brigade… There is no need to make threats…"
"Threats? You think I’m making threats? Does this feel like a threat to you?"
Sarah’s right hook caught me completely off-guard and connected with my jaw. The blow spun me around three hundred and sixty degrees as I lost my balance and collapsed to the floor. I was indeed knocked on my ass… not to mention in a state of complete shock! I couldn’t believe that someone actually punched me in the face! Nothing like that had ever happened to me in my entire life! I barely had time to register the pain and the taste of blood in my mouth as I looked up to see Sarah Brigade leaping high into the air with her elbow raised.
This was really going to hurt...
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